Friday, October 5, 2012


I have been living here for nine years, and I had never heard of Gira. Then Jewy appeared (lol) and brought with her this amazing new innovation.

Gira is basically Bisquick powder made like Ola-Ola poundi.

Yes, you read that right.

/* Bisquick is a baking mix. Most people associate it with pancakes and waffles. It can also be used for pies, tarts, dumplings, cookies, you name it. Nigerians now use it as okele. :) */

It has completely revolutionized okele in this house. We're out of pounded yam? No problem, we have Gira. Not in the mood for Eba? No problem, Gira it is.

It tastes a bit sweeter than Semovita, and so far there are no side effects that I can tell. (Plus, I googled side effects of putting Bisquick to unconventional uses and as long as it's cooked we're good).

We actually even got our city's resident catering-practical, Analista, who refuses eat okele, to try it last night. She finished it before we heard a single word on its texture and consistency... and that's saying a lot.

So if you've not tried Gira, head out to your neighborhood Giant, Giant Eagle, HEB or Costco, and get yourself some Bisquick. It goes great with efo riro, efo elegusi, ogbono, and we're about to try it with ila!

Disclaimer: I am not a nutritionist and you're OYO with any side effects you may experience, such as knocked-out-ness and weight gain. One serving of Gira might take up to half of your day's allotted calorie limit. 

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Anger Mgt

I have to admit I have never been to one of those sessions where they tell you to breath in out, uuh aaah, aah aaah and all will go away. I think it depends on how messed up you feel about something. I have tried one though , its fast, cheap and effective.

When i feel slighted and cant get it out, for fear of blow!, resignation!,e.t.c. I just quietly wait till its late, entice them to my dreams and thrash the hell out of them. I wake up in the morning feeling, boo ya! thrashed you yesterday and u were such a helpless

Let me know if this works for you! Just don't kill anyone, contain yourself!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Who's the workout junkie now?

Jewy woke me up this morning with the heavy bass and strong beats of Jillian Michael's 30-day shred.

At the crack of dawn. "Move. You have to work off those calories. You can't just take the stairs! That is a false message of lethargy" Jillian was yelling. I could not believe my ears.

I had been up from 1.00 till like 3.30am, so I just wanted to sleep a little more. So of course, I sent her a BBM to turn it down. Which she didn't notice till she was done half an hour later. Or so I thought.

Apparently I am a text addict for sending the message instead of leaving the comfort of my warm cozy bed.

I'm working out at 1.00am tonight. Right when she goes to bed and is ready to sleep.


Text addict

I think Owumi may require a text grant at this rate or possibly we may need a telecom mast soon in the house.

So I wake up this morning to get my blood pumping a little faster with a lil help from Jillian. In all that chaos, all the moral support I could get from my  roomie was a bb msg saying, "Pls turn that down, I hate you!!" How inspiring, I am happy she got punished cos unknowingly  I turned it higher for motivation.

Next time you have an important message, ERUPT from your bed and say it! We are in the same house, u american!


I love people of all cultures but I think I haven't found favor with some of them.

Especially the ones who may make future airplanes out of bamboo.

Got on the bus today only for this guy to grace me with his natural Paco Rabonne concoction  I tried to dodge but it was too late. This terrorism went on for a while and I'm sure I acquired a few wrinkles before getting off the bus.

This is happening the second time just from these folks and now I am apprehensive they might be onto me. Anyone with skills on how to dodge unwanted fragrances, Pls save me!!!!


Jewy has discovered online shopping. Ebay, Amazon,

Since she moved in, we've been getting packages pretty much every other day. Phones, phone parts, shoes, boots...

Today she graduated to online shopping 201: she discovered online shopping returns.

I bet I could charge some shoes to her card and she wouldn't even notice the difference. Hehe.

Jewy on Stroke

"My professor had a stroke and is in critical condition" said Jewy

"Oh wow. What causes strokes?" I asked innocently

"It's a bunch of factors"

She pauses.

I roll my eyes. Doctors are sooo annoying. "Just give me a straight answer"

"You want me to break it down for you? Okay. Cerebrovascular accident something-something gibberish blood vessel clot burst. It's not just one thing. It's multifactorial. So if for example someone had hypertension balderdash gibberish different from aneurysm something something"

"Never mind"


"Assignment mi po bi aso-ebi" - Jewy


"Oh my God! I bombed my first exam! I am so sad!"

Jewy came in from school wailing about her exam today.

"Eyaa pele." I said. "How bad was it?"

"I got X." She names a score that is an A-.

Pause.  Errr...

"What was the average?"

"Y" She states a B- score


The Marine

Ok yea there is a marine male man in my class that feels the need to share his thots aggressively every time  Even the lecturers shudder at his wealth life experience(eyes rolling!). Then I get delusional enough to ask him to work with me on a group project. Looking shocked, he said with the deepest baritone " Oh yea Sure, we ll talk about it in class", slightly intimidated, I happily replied see ya!

Days later he practically erases me out of vision and I could swear he had never seen me before from his blank look. At this point I am so confused.

I tell it to Owumi and she pleasantly says "welcome to America" (helpful roommate).

Please I believe you guyz are more helpful and can tell me what may be going through this veteran's mind.

America 101: Customer Service

I spent two hours and fifteen minutes on the phone with Customer Service. I daresay living in America is 50% dealing with customer service.

Soooo annoying.

Airline charged card for flight, but does not supply confirmation number. Bank says can not drop pending transaction unless Airline supplies merchant authorization code. Airline does not have merchant authorization code because charge did not go through on their end, and wants Bank approval code. Bank does not have an approval code because charge is still pending.

After calling each one back and forth, I finally got them to talk to each other on three-way. They must have a secret customer service people language, because finally some kind of code that showed up on both ends can now be used to send an authorization to drop off the charge. Airline started working on it, kept checking in with me every 5 minutes for 50 minutes and telling me to stay on hold... then my phone died.

My head hurts. That's all I can say.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Polite Stinker

Can't believe I just got schooled by an eccentric TA. One minute she was commending me for great ideas , the next I get a mail telling me to indirectly to get my priorities right before time and not bother her with questions. I had to re-interpret the mail in Yoruba to get the real picture.

 In my head: Oyinbo with tribal marks, clapping her hands and  saying " e gbami lowo sesede, aye e ni mo wa ni? Jo kuro lori email fun mi, Nonsense!!"
Yes! I gave her tribal marks that made me feel so much better.

9.00am shopping

Jewy came into my room this morning to ask for my opinion on black winter boots.

I gave my opinion.

She proceeded to stay another 41 minutes browsing through shoes, her laptop on my leg and bed, talking to me while I tried to make it obvious I just wanted to be left alone before I had to go to class.

Make that 44 minutes. She's still here.

Introverts unite. Extroverts, aaargh.