Osan wewe ati eja

Today my roommate came home with a new cookbook, 400 calorie fix:

Source

I was ecstatic! I gained 15 pounds over the last three years that I've been trying to drop off, and she has some weight loss goals as well. I flipped through it as we ate our lunch of jollof rice, bananas, beef, grilled chicken and iced tea - at least 1000 calories.

"This is an amazing book!" I said. "I am so excited! Look, I found something we can do with the rest of our tilapia! Lemon-oregano grilled tilapia with parsley rice!" Earlier in the week, I had achieved a personal milestone of getting Jewy to not pick off the chopped red pepper on our mediterranean herb-encrusted tilapia dinner with oven roasted potatoes... and she had liked it! So I thought she'd be excited about this new tilapia recipe too.

"Osan-wewe ati eja" said Jewi "Mo ti ra trouble wa le o!"

Potato like yam

Owumi accused me of peeling potato like yam. 

In my defense, we don't have a potato peeler. 

In her defense, a potato the size of a tennis ball became the size of a golf ball after I finished peeling it. 

"Ma ge bi is u o" she said. "O n ge bi isu! Ye ge bi isu!" 

Errr... yeah. I had no idea what she was talking about. 

Work out junkie

"Jewy! I'm tired! I can't feel my legs! I think this is really too much for beginners. I need tylenol. I may stop this class"

Twenty minutes later: 

"Day 3, done! Woot woot!" 

Who does that? 

She says she's trying to lose weight. I think she's just addicted to working out at this point.

Engineering and Public Policy

My roommate takes the "public policy" portion of her major soooo seriously. 

She's always on CNN, cracking up on Colbert Report, yelling at Fox News. Even when she's supposed to be asleep (See American mode below)

I think she thinks she's Michelle Obama. Or at least related to her somehow. 

American tout

This morning, I dropped off Jewy at the megabus stop for her weekend trip to DC. We were early, but I had to be back by 10.30am for my cardio & sculpt class. So, my driving style was a bit... motivated.

At one point, after yielding for a line of cars that wouldn't let up, I hit the gas and merged quickly before the next one (which was still quite far away) got close.

"Omo ita to wo short knica" sang Jewy "American tout."

Yes, I was wearing gym shorts at the time.

Apple and Yam

Today I made a side salad to go with our dinner - lettuce, tomatoes, apples and a raspberry vinaigrette.

Jewy ignored it.

Later she accused me of not eating any apples. I told her I had - in the salad that she had ignored.

"Pasko" said Jewy. "Ewo ni ti ewe? By the way, this your American Apple. It's hard like yam."

ps.

That actually, is so true. I've hurt my gums biting into macintosh apples here before.

Showers

My roommate stays in the shower for at least an hour.

She says her actual shower is like 25 minutes, but still. What is she doing in there?

I'm pretty sure her skin is semi-cooked, from the length of the shower and the temperature of the hot water. I pray not to smell barbecue from the bathroom one day. Please say Amen if you love Owumi.

Eyi-doublee-yu

Today, my roommate decided that my name is Eyi-doubleeee-yu (think naija pronounciation of W, to rhyme with Banky W ie do-mi-re-re-mi) or Yomu Yomu (mosquito in Yoruba, ie do-do-mi-mi, instead of Yumi)

American mode part II

My roommate often goes in her room, closes the door and falls asleep super early. Or she says she's asleep. Who knows? I wonder if she falls asleep or just locks her door. I call this her in "American mode." 

When she's close to coming out, she stops being quiet. 

"Owumi" 

"I'm asleep"

That usually means, "Yes, come in". "I'm not here" also means the same thing. 

American Mode

Last night I was feeling a bit blue, so I went to bed at nine pm and shut my door. I didn't exactly hear my roommate come in, but I didn't not hear her either :D

She said my name once, paused at my door, and then went into her room.

Cut to this morning, 9.00am. She obviously had exercised all the control she had, and she came knocking on my door.

"Owumi?!"

"Yes I'm here" I said.

She came in looking concerned. "O ti t'ilekun m'ori lat'ale ana. O wa ni American mode!"

Permission not granted

My roommate keeps asking me if she can do things after she has done them.

After sticking her size 8.5 foot in my size 7.5 pumps. "Is it okay if I put my foot in it?"

After coming in my room. "Is it okay if I come in?"

After grabbing my charger and plugging her phone in. "Is it okay if I use your charger?"

It's as if an unnecessary politeness circuit triggers in her brain after the fact. I can't complain though - her hair cream and flat iron live permanently in my room.

About Owumi

Owumi is a grad student at Carnegie Mellon who can't believe she's been in the US almost 10 years.  She likes yummy food and hates putting on weight. She also likes politics, reading novels, watching TV shows, and writing her research papers in the early hours of the morning.

About Jewy

Jewy is a JJC (Jenifa just come) grad student at Pitt in the US. She likes nothing about school and was probably hypnotized to get into the program. Natural areas of concentration: sleep,movies and yea medical stuff. I think she says the darnedest things too.