Jewy on Stroke

"My professor had a stroke and is in critical condition" said Jewy

"Oh wow. What causes strokes?" I asked innocently

"It's a bunch of factors"

She pauses.

I roll my eyes. Doctors are sooo annoying. "Just give me a straight answer"

"You want me to break it down for you? Okay. Cerebrovascular accident something-something gibberish blood vessel clot burst. It's not just one thing. It's multifactorial. So if for example someone had hypertension balderdash gibberish different from aneurysm something something"

"Never mind"

Aso-ebi

"Assignment mi po bi aso-ebi" - Jewy

Over-achiever

"Oh my God! I bombed my first exam! I am so sad!"

Jewy came in from school wailing about her exam today.

"Eyaa pele." I said. "How bad was it?"

"I got X." She names a score that is an A-.

Pause.  Errr...

"What was the average?"

"Y" She states a B- score

"Pschew"

Osan wewe ati eja

Today my roommate came home with a new cookbook, 400 calorie fix:

Source

I was ecstatic! I gained 15 pounds over the last three years that I've been trying to drop off, and she has some weight loss goals as well. I flipped through it as we ate our lunch of jollof rice, bananas, beef, grilled chicken and iced tea - at least 1000 calories.

"This is an amazing book!" I said. "I am so excited! Look, I found something we can do with the rest of our tilapia! Lemon-oregano grilled tilapia with parsley rice!" Earlier in the week, I had achieved a personal milestone of getting Jewy to not pick off the chopped red pepper on our mediterranean herb-encrusted tilapia dinner with oven roasted potatoes... and she had liked it! So I thought she'd be excited about this new tilapia recipe too.

"Osan-wewe ati eja" said Jewi "Mo ti ra trouble wa le o!"

Potato like yam

Owumi accused me of peeling potato like yam. 

In my defense, we don't have a potato peeler. 

In her defense, a potato the size of a tennis ball became the size of a golf ball after I finished peeling it. 

"Ma ge bi is u o" she said. "O n ge bi isu! Ye ge bi isu!" 

Errr... yeah. I had no idea what she was talking about. 

American tout

This morning, I dropped off Jewy at the megabus stop for her weekend trip to DC. We were early, but I had to be back by 10.30am for my cardio & sculpt class. So, my driving style was a bit... motivated.

At one point, after yielding for a line of cars that wouldn't let up, I hit the gas and merged quickly before the next one (which was still quite far away) got close.

"Omo ita to wo short knica" sang Jewy "American tout."

Yes, I was wearing gym shorts at the time.

Apple and Yam

Today I made a side salad to go with our dinner - lettuce, tomatoes, apples and a raspberry vinaigrette.

Jewy ignored it.

Later she accused me of not eating any apples. I told her I had - in the salad that she had ignored.

"Pasko" said Jewy. "Ewo ni ti ewe? By the way, this your American Apple. It's hard like yam."

ps.

That actually, is so true. I've hurt my gums biting into macintosh apples here before.

Eyi-doublee-yu

Today, my roommate decided that my name is Eyi-doubleeee-yu (think naija pronounciation of W, to rhyme with Banky W ie do-mi-re-re-mi) or Yomu Yomu (mosquito in Yoruba, ie do-do-mi-mi, instead of Yumi)

American Mode

Last night I was feeling a bit blue, so I went to bed at nine pm and shut my door. I didn't exactly hear my roommate come in, but I didn't not hear her either :D

She said my name once, paused at my door, and then went into her room.

Cut to this morning, 9.00am. She obviously had exercised all the control she had, and she came knocking on my door.

"Owumi?!"

"Yes I'm here" I said.

She came in looking concerned. "O ti t'ilekun m'ori lat'ale ana. O wa ni American mode!"