The Land of Do-It-Yourself

Apologies for the break in transmission.

I've been preparing for a research conference, and then travelling home to Lagos, Nigeria to see one of my closest friends from undergrad get married. (While I was gone, Jewy was getting traumatized by well-meaning new friends taking her to unexpected shopping destinations. She's in recovery.) After two weeks in the land of guguru and epa, I'm glad to be back in the land of "milk and honey". Too bad it's also the land of Do It Yourself :-(

For the past few days, despite the fact that I have been sick, I've had to drive myself (reluctantly) everywhere to run my errands, prepare and/or order my own meals, wash my own dishes, and pay a ton of bills, since it's month end. Last week Saturday I left my room and returned an hour later to find that my sister's steward had switched out my sheets to be laundered and made my bed. In contrast, by the end of the day tomorrow, I'm pretty sure my sheets will be in the same crumpled state that I'd have left them in the morning, and I will be the one huffing and puffing as I lug them to the basement to wash. Don't be alarmed - I'm not lazy, and I've been happily doing all of these myself for the past few years. It's the very fact that I'm so unaccustomed to such "luxury" that makes the return to reality all the more jarring.

As with all things America, coming back is always a bittersweet experience. I'm glad to have the rule of law and not have to pay sketchy, negotiable fines based on arbitrary rules of where a parking zone ends, but I miss my siblings, nieces and nephews, and friends. I'm glad to have my bed and house back, but I will miss my sis-in-law's moi-moi and the general state of having older siblings present, to whom I can present random requests that I would normally take care of myself (otherwise known as, mo ma n yo si won l'orun). I'm glad to no longer be hot and sweaty (and getting at least two shades darker, as Jewy gleefully pointed out) but I have to steel myself against the cold once more.

I'm glad to be back, but I'll always miss home. After all, it's the only place where I'm not regarded by the government as an alien - be it resident for tax purposes or not.

Fart-grance!!

I love people of all cultures but I think I haven't found favor with some of them.

Especially the ones who may make future airplanes out of bamboo.

Got on the bus today only for this guy to grace me with his natural Paco Rabonne concoction  I tried to dodge but it was too late. This terrorism went on for a while and I'm sure I acquired a few wrinkles before getting off the bus.

This is happening the second time just from these folks and now I am apprehensive they might be onto me. Anyone with skills on how to dodge unwanted fragrances, Pls save me!!!!

The Marine

Ok yea there is a marine male man in my class that feels the need to share his thots aggressively every time  Even the lecturers shudder at his wealth life experience(eyes rolling!). Then I get delusional enough to ask him to work with me on a group project. Looking shocked, he said with the deepest baritone " Oh yea Sure, we ll talk about it in class", slightly intimidated, I happily replied see ya!

Days later he practically erases me out of vision and I could swear he had never seen me before from his blank look. At this point I am so confused.

I tell it to Owumi and she pleasantly says "welcome to America" (helpful roommate).

Please I believe you guyz are more helpful and can tell me what may be going through this veteran's mind.

America 101: Customer Service

I spent two hours and fifteen minutes on the phone with Customer Service. I daresay living in America is 50% dealing with customer service.

Soooo annoying.

Airline charged card for flight, but does not supply confirmation number. Bank says can not drop pending transaction unless Airline supplies merchant authorization code. Airline does not have merchant authorization code because charge did not go through on their end, and wants Bank approval code. Bank does not have an approval code because charge is still pending.

After calling each one back and forth, I finally got them to talk to each other on three-way. They must have a secret customer service people language, because finally some kind of code that showed up on both ends can now be used to send an authorization to drop off the charge. Airline started working on it, kept checking in with me every 5 minutes for 50 minutes and telling me to stay on hold... then my phone died.

My head hurts. That's all I can say.

Polite Stinker

Can't believe I just got schooled by an eccentric TA. One minute she was commending me for great ideas , the next I get a mail telling me to indirectly to get my priorities right before time and not bother her with questions. I had to re-interpret the mail in Yoruba to get the real picture.

 In my head: Oyinbo with tribal marks, clapping her hands and  saying " e gbami lowo sesede, aye e ni mo wa ni? Jo kuro lori email fun mi, Nonsense!!"
Yes! I gave her tribal marks that made me feel so much better.